Step 1 - Stay up really late the night before
a- take your last NST at 11pm instead of 8pm because everyone is busy
b- make sure the twins move all over the place so the test takes forEVER
c- drink lots of orange juice for the test so you can't lay down without getting heartburn for an hour after the test is over.
Step 2 - 6:45am have someone wake you up by flipping on the light over your head and announcing, "I need to draw some blood".
bonus points if said person:
a-says "I don't know" when you ask what they need the blood for
b-has a nasty cold and keeps sniffing the whole time he's leaning over you trying to find your already bruised vein.
c-Stands there blowing his nose into tissues until he can breath again. Leaves the tissues in your garbage can (to permeate the room). Uses your sink to wash his hands....prompting you to call housekeeping and beg for some Lysol Disinfectant Spray.
d- Doesn't manage to leave until 7:20am...you need to get up at 7:40am
e- leaves the lights on and the door open a crack so you have to get up and turn it off and close the door.
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The nurses explained later that it's hospital policy to retype your blood every 3 days. (so that they have recent blood in the lab already if I should have an emergency and need blood.)..and for some reason they'd decided to retype mine two days in a row. They assured me that from now on they'd only wake me up to draw blood in the early morning (before the sun comes up....hmmmmm) every three days. Comforting.
My doctor's answer was much nicer. "Oh, you don't need that." He said that's for people who are at risk for bleeding and I'm not. So he wrote notes in my chart for them to stop doing it. yay :)
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