My morning nurse took pity on me after my first NST. She must've noticed my sleepwalking as I returned to my room. She guarded the door and didn't let anyone in for 4 blessed hours. The phone rang after the first hour. wrong number. again. (Someone keeps paging doctors and leaving my number instead of their own). I unplugged the phone and woke up happy and rested several hours later :)
Visit to the PICU:
I thought I was prepared to see it. It was clean...and friendly..lots of machines, but they all looked nice instead of scary. None of the babies were ever alone. The thing that threw me off was the babies. I expected the babies to be sickly or listless or sad ....they weren't at all. This one girl I saw was so very beautiful. She was awake and alert...and interactive. Her mouth was all covered up to keep her breathing tube in....but she had the most expressive eyes I've ever seen in a baby. What a strange way to start her life. So many tubes. No tears. Just looking around, taking in her world.
I waited 'til I was back in my room to cry. I called Sexy Haqon and he made it all better because that's what we do for each other. Thanks, sweetie. I hadn't thought much about after my inpatient stay. I'm not ready for it.