I Change the Words...

The first time I sang "You are my Sunshine" to Seraph:

"You are my sunshine,

my only sunshine,

you make me happy,

when skies are gray.

you'll never know dear,

how much I love you...."

[I couldn't bring myself to say the words...so I sang:]

"each and every day!"

It didn't start with Seraph, though....the first night I was a mother, I took took a very tiny Beautiful Rabbit in my arms and rocked her to sleep.  While I rocked her, I sang:

"Rock-a-bye baby in the tree top,

when the wind blows the cradle will rock.

When the bough breaks,

the cradle will fall,

and mommy will catch you,

cradle and all."

My kids still think those are the real words....

What I did today

• found the what I did today blog
• played make-up with my "dolls"
• "camera me!"
• tickled Bear
• ate sushi
• a little shower/water therapy with Seraph
• listened to that lil stinker (Seraph) empty the spoons out of the drawer ....twice!
• reminded the kids about the "no water out of the tub" rule and made them clean it up.
• walked Bear to the corner for school
• hugs and kisses
• "run for our lives!" (that's what Finch says every time she flushes the toilet....and you just have to run! She grabs her pants on the way out...and comes back to wash hands)
• learned about a heart defect that doesn't affect my life
• opened a late Christmas present that was beautiful (and my favorite color) with a note that make me LOL (thx, M)
• watched the first Yin/Yang episode of Psych w/ Beautiful Rabbit.
• mourned the loss of "Dora Saves the Day" because of a huge scratch......though Dora will always be with us in our hearts.....and also with us because Angel can recite the whole thing start to finish and does so almost every night at bedtime and then again at 4am.
• ran out of room on my camera's memory card!
• enjoyed being happy

The Final Frontier

Dad: Back off.  Everyone go downstairs.  Go play downstairs.  I need some space.  Go play downstairs.
--------
Mom: Get down.  Mommy needs space.  NO, not on my lap. Get down, sweetie.  Sorry, but mommy needs space. Get down!
-------
Rabbit: Mom, can I go take a shower? I need space
-------
Bear: [pushes out both hands knocking Angel over] I NEED SPACE!!
Mom: why is Angel crying?
Bear: She needed to move.  I need my space.
------
Finch: [jumping, spinning, and giggling]: I need space, hehehe....I need space, hehehe...space space spaaaaaaace!
------
Angel: [all alone at the top of the stairs first thing in the morning when everyone else is still sleeping]: I NEED SPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACE!! MOM, I NEED SPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACE!!!
-----
Seraph: [looks around the room and then climbs down the stairs to play by herself in the playroom for while.]

My Momma said there'd be days like this....

Wonderful days filled with smiles and joy.  I knew they'd come, but didn't expect them to come so soon.

Seraph at the park

I dread the dreariness of February.  Today the sun came out and warmed everything just enough for a trip to the park.  Don't get me wrong - it was still cold.  The wind never stopped blowing.  But the kids (and especially Seraph) had oooooooh-sooooo-much fun!!

Seraph wanted to walk everywhere!  I'd carry her up to the top of the slide (don't want her learning to do steps yet.  nope nope!)  We'd slide down, clap and "yay" at the bottom, and then walk back to the steps.  She tired after a while, but overall she seemed really happy.

We left all the tubes at home!  She wasn't scheduled to eat for an hour, and I decided she could go without her oxygen for that long.  (She's accidentally gone with out it for several hours before and was OK.)  Besides, oxygen tanks mean nasal cannula instead of blowby and she refuses to allow any tubes on her face unless she's feeling too sick to move.)

The park is fenced in, and we had the whole place to ourselves.  Elmo came with us....and a huge ball to play with.  Sexy Haqon brought his mp3 player (so we could stay longer w/out him getting bored, I think)  They don't even look cold, do they?

Did I mention the wind?  Crazy windy!  Seraph didn't seem to mind (last year the wind touching her skin would scare her.)  My favorite was a slide built for two.  I just had to take the twins down it together.  I don't think they cared that they could go at the same time.  But it sure made mommy happy :)

No Problem!

I can waste whole days calling my insurance, doctors offices, and hospitals trying to work through "misunderstandings".  (There seems to be a misunderstanding--I don't owe you money.)

Yesterday, a medical-related company called me with a RECORDING telling me I needed to call them back ASAP.  The recording had already started when I answered the phone.  It was on continuous loop.  Confusing! So, I called back.  Was on hold.  They asked for personal info to verify my info!!  (Hey, you called me!) We sorted that out then they transfered me to the department that wanted to verify things with me.

That's when they accidentally hung up on me.  I had to call back.  Normally I'd be totally "GRRRRRRRRrrrrr'ing" by that point.  Instead I just pedaled harder.  That's right - they happened to call when I was on my exercise bike!  By the time I sorted through the mess, I'd burned an *extra* 150 calories and gone an extra 2 miles.

Instead of feeling frustrated and aggravated and harassed, I felt refreshed and ready to take on the world.  Now I'm not saying I'm going to jump on the exercise bike every time I have to call someone.  [Thank heavens I wasn't panting :p]  But it was really cool :)

Just for Fun, too!

                                    

My SIL over at Living in Maryland celebrated the Chinese New Year by finding the Chinese zodiac animal for each member of her family and reading them out loud.   Even though today (the third day of the new year) is not a good day for socializing or visiting with friends/relatives, I'm going to look them up for my family.  [For those who don't know, I'm forever copying my SIL.  I even had my twins a few months after she had twins.  I can't help myself.  She's just that cool!]




Sexy Haqon: OX

Born leaders, Ox people inspire confidence from all those around them. They are conservative, methodical, and good with their hands. However, they can be at times chauvinistic and demanding. In fact, the strength of an Ox person comes out in great shows of deter-
mination, obstinance, and defense for what they believe in. Although they enjoy their private life and doing things on their own, Oxen are strong, dutiful and reliable. They construct firm bonds with their home and family, and while not the most romantic of the animals, Oxen make affectionate, faithful partners and lovers. 

Honest, Loyal, Popular, Sincere, Steadfast, Reliable ----------------- Stubborn, Impatient, Inflexible, Narrow-Minded, Sulking

Me:  Rabbit

Rabbits are people everyone likes to be around -- Affectionate, obliging, and pleasant. However, can get too sentimental and sometimes seem superficial. They keep out of disputes, even if they have to turn a blind eye. Rabbits are emotional and even selfish when it comes to enjoying themselves, but they would never deliberately hurt anyone. Even though they seem quiet (and even unattentive), their intuition and intelligence gives them the diplomatic skills to distance themselves from bad situations. Well-groomed, mannered and always fashionable, the Rabbit's conservative exterior hides a love for fun, which catches other people off guard. Rabbits excel at assessing a situation and providing a solution when the time is right. They are sensitive lovers, and seek a partner who can offer security in life. 

Astute, Thoughtful, Refined, Docile, Wise

-----------------

Cunning, Snobbish, Possessive, Fussy, Obsessive

Beautiful Rabbit: Dragon (no surprise there)

Full of vitality and enthusiasm, Dragons are popular individuals, despite being seen as foolhardy or "big-mouthed" at times. They are intelligent, gifted perfectionists that are demanding of others. Their intolerance usually causes a stir, but Dragons enjoy attracting attention, and prefer demanding situa-
tions to everyday rountines. To Dragons, rules and regulations are made only for others. They live, act, and think big, but their pride and self-confidence can prevent them from accepting help when they need it the most. Self-reliant and sufficient, they can survive without close relationships, but are energized with companions that share their wavelength.

Resourceful, Self-Assured, Adaptable, Original, Valiant, Enthusiastic ----------------- Arrogant, Hot-headed, Unpredictable, Critical, Irritable, Discourteous

Strong Bear:  Rooster (like his cousin, Butterfly!)

Roosters are hard workers; shrewd and definite in their decision making, often speaking their minds. Because of this, Roosters seem to boast. They like to put all their cards on the table and respect those who do the same. Roosters love to mix socially -- They are dreamers, flashy dressers and extravagant. They love to attract attention and admiration, and and get angry when someone steals the spotlight. Despite being melodramatic, they are exceptionally practical, logical, and have excellent powers of discri-
mination. This leaves them with high standards of excellence which at times frustrates others. Although they attract many suitors, they are loyal, level-headed partners make a commitment. 

Passionate, Resilient, Patriotic, Industrious, Courageous, Protective

-----------------

Conceited, Blunt, Rude, Bossy, Aggressive, Impatient

Delightful Finch:  Dog

Dogs are naturally honest and faithful to the ones they love. Dogs seem to specialize -- they find an hobby or interest they enjoy and stick to it. Unfortunately, most Dog people are plagued by worry, a sharp tongue, and a tendency to find fault in things. They have a sense of justice and fair play, and are particularly good at finding logical solutions to problems. As far as Dogs are concerned, it is the people that count. Trustworthy friends and good conversationalists, Dogs have a tendency to hold grudges until appeased. Despite having a temper at times, they need loving, stable relationships. Once they've found their mate, they are faithful for life. 

Devoted, Resilient, Unselfish, Honest, Resourceful, Reliable

-----------------

Nosy, Cynical, Cantakerous, Pessimistic, Anxious, Introverted

Angel-Roo and Seraph:  Rat (like their twin cousins!  Oh my!)

Rats are imaginative, charming, and truly generous to the ones they love. However, Rats have a tendency to be quick-tempered and overly critical. At ease with company and groups of people, their intelligence and observation allows them to quickly grasp a situation from multiple perspectives. Rats know how to spot opportunities and seize them, but their opportunism, ambition and restlessness can lead to too many commitments. Don't be fooled -- although shrewd in business at times, Rats are passionate lovers, with a depth of feeling that is seldom recognized by others. 

Charismatic, Sociable, Intelligent, Affable, Quick-Witted, Popular ----------------- Exploitive, Calculative, Secretive, Greedy, Acquisitive, Devious

Look up your own family's zodiac animals HERE and post it somewhere I can peek.

Tis the season...

I've been feeling yucky. I think I need to trade in my body for a new one. Ya know when you replace your cell phone's battery because it won't hold a charge. Yeah, I'm like that. Maybe I'm solar powered. It's been awfully cloudy lately.....

Shorts

Angel's learning to drink from a straw cup. She toddled over to Seraph, took the straw cup out of her mouth, and put the straw on Seraph's lips. 'Uhhhh, uhhhhh', she insisted. Seraph did NOT open her mouth....but she did smile at the gift.

------------------

Seraph took a real bath last night :) ('til now, it's been sponge baths.) I think she liked it. Her muscles are getting stronger. She likes to be held more, to be carried around on my hip like other babies.

------------------

Strong Bear: Daddy, you can go fishing but you can't go to church - you're too big to go to church.

------------------

Mom: Oh, we should do Finch's hair.

Delightful Finch: [immediately runs out of the room!! and when I find her] No. No. Do Bear hair! No, do Angel hair! No No NO do Daddy hair!!

-------------------

Beautiful Rabbit: Mom, Dad, watch! [holds Angel up high and spins around and around as Angel smiles] I think she's motion sick.

Haqon: She's not old enough to get motion sick, but she might be dizzy.

Beautiful Rabbit: [spins with Angel again]

Mom: Rabbit, put Angel down and go brush your hair for church.

[Beautiful Rabbit puts Angel down and runs for the stairs to get her brush. Angel immediately chases after her sister, giggling...only instead of getting to the stairs, she swerves left and full on crashes into the wall.]

Beautiful Rabbit: [between giggles] Yep. I think she's dizzy.

Visiting the Temple

We love to see the temple....but it's too bright to keep our eyes open! We had a great time at the open house today. It was super hot!! Beautiful Rabbit wanted to stay forEVAH! (no surprise there)

Love you, sweet family :)

Good News, Seraph :)

Seraph hangs out on a huge floor mat in the PICU. She's surrounded by toys. She LOVES this toy a ton!! (We might have to get her one..heh) She's rolling onto her sides, reaching for things, sitting up in chairs, smiling tons....

Good News:

--Seraph is on 1/2 liter oxygen (that's less than what she'd been on at home.)

--She took a super long nap today (great because she hasn't been sleeping for more than a few hours at a time)

They're keeping her in the PICU for now. They need to make sure she can tolerate being off the high flow oxygen.

She LOVED playing with her papa. He's just so fun!! Strong Bear came with us today. He wanted to see Seraph. He played with her toys and talked to her a lot. (Later, he threw pennies in the fountain and played on the rocks while daddy brought the car around.)

Look at all those teeth!! Seraph has 2 molar teeth coming in on bottom. She loves her teeth soooo much. She's always touching them or biting toys.

We finally wore Seraph out and she fell asleep in my arms. She never lets me cradle her like this. I hold her on my shoulder alot or in my lap (facing away from me). It was wonderful to snuggle and watch her slow blinks as she drifted off.

Thank you for all your prayers. Seraph really seemed like herself today....and it was wonderful! Can't wait to have her home :)

Thanks, Grandma P

Grandma P took this family (-1) photo of us before she left. The kids loved having her stay with us.

Poor Finch had a fever that night, but overall it's a pretty good picture of us. (from left to right: Strong Bear, Sexy Haqon, Me, Delightful Finch, Beatiful Rabbit, & Angel)

Seraph is doing really well. They're weaning her off her pain meds. (The ones she's been on since she came home in January.) I've been telling the doctors for months that she was ready to wean off them. I guess seeing her smiling face every day was enough to convince them. It's a super slow wean, but she's doing super well and I'm really happy about it.

My sinuses were worse today. The doc said I'd be contagious for a week starting yesterday. I don't expect Seraph to come home before this sickness is out of our house. Her health is too fragile right now to deal with a cold.

My Sister's Keeper

Seeing the movie's commercials, I decided that I really wanted to read this book before seeing the movie.  That was before I realized Jodi Picoult wrote it.  (I enjoyed reading her book, "Nineteen Minutes.") Not my usual genre, but it's a good read, too.  

http://www.jodipicoult.com/my-sisters-keeper.html

Haqon keeps looking over and asking if I'm OK.  I admit - this book has been hard for me to read.  But, it's helped me see silver linings.....and explore deep fears, emotions, and ethics.  I love getting lost in a book.  

I love books.

Summer begins on Father's Day this year...

They took Seraph off aspirin this week in preparation for her surgery (so she won't bleed as much). Aspirin thins her blood to prevent clots and ease her heart's workload.  I've been nervous about having her off it, but she's doing fine.  She has a new tooth! That makes 1 on top & 3 on bottom.

Angel stands up by herself when she doesn't notice she's doing it!

Strong Bear decided he'd rather be a big boy than a little boy.  So, he's in underwear! There've been a few accidents, and mom still tells him to go potty before mealtimes...but he doesn't fight me about it. :) Big boys get to play more games, go to the park, go swimming, and stay up a bit later.  

Beautiful Rabbit spent the weekend with her cousins.  They went swimming every day.  Lucky for her, the pool near us just opened, too.  Last night we squeezed in 25 minutes of swimming before closing time. :)

Picture Story: Last One Standing

Sleepy kiddies!  There was no one left to share dinner with...hehe.  Sorry, Seraph, you don't get any pizza.

2008

I think this was my craziest year yet.  

We were looking at pictures last night and I found a drawing I made in the hospital.  Originally I'd had tally marks on the white board for each day I was going to be in the hospital.  It was comforting to erase one mark every day.  It helped me see that my time away from my family would come to an end.  Then the marks were all gone, and they wouldn't deliver the babies.  There was no room for them in the nicu!!

The next two days were really hard.  ....until I drew myself a picture of my family waiting at home for me.  So, left to right, that's Delightful Finch, Strong Bear, Beautiful Rabbit, and Sexy Haqon.  I missed them sooo much while I was inpatient.

It's been almost a year since I started this blog....since I found out I was pregnant...since I found out we were having twins...since Finch started walking!  Our prayers have become simpler this year.  We're thankful for simpler things like our house and Sexy's job and each other.  We ask for simpler things....like breathing efficiently.

I can't believe Angel and Seraph are 6 months old.

I wish Seraph could be home with us again.  I'm glad we got to have the twins together for a few days.  

Seraph is on cpap to help her breath right now.  They just inserted a pic-line (like a permanent IV) to use instead of poking her when they have to draw blood for labs.  (they test her blood gases a couple times every day to make sure she's getting enough respratory support.)

I look forward to next Summer when we'll all be playing together at the park or by the lake or just walking around with the strollers. Angel will be crawling or walking.  Seraph will be crawling or sitting up.  Finch will have an even better vocabulary.  Rabbit will be jumping, dancing, and spinning.  Bear will be shouting "look at me" as he climbs.  Sexy and I will be smiling....and we'll all be very happy.

Hope you and yours have a great 2009 ;)

Pictures!

Oh, here's my blog...

Sunday (7th) - The twins' twin cousins came to visit :)

Monday (8th) - The twins had their 2 month check-up. Angel weighs 9lbs 4oz. Seraph weighs 7lbs 15oz. They recieved their first 3 immunizations--one oral, 2 shots. The nurses each took a leg, counted to 3 and stabbed at the same time. Angel freaked! She couldn't believe anyone would do that to a cute baby such as herself. Seraph started screaming when she felt the alcohol wipe and stopped crying when the needle came out.

Tuesday (9th) - Seraph has a fever. Mom freaks. Mom is NOT letting them take her to the hospital again. Yay for Tylenol and Daddy's bath -- Seraph kicks that fever's butt and gets to stay home with her loving family :)

Wednesday (10th) - hmmm.....can't remember. Oh. Mom spends all day trying to get the computers working just right. Mom is grumpy. The kids are grumpy. Daddy comes home from work grumpy. grump grump grumpity grump grump grump!!

Thursday (11th) - Haqon and I send the happy kids to bed on time and stay up late playing War Hammer Online open beta with Guntaar. Wow. No, not WoW, but tons of fun! I love playing the RvR (PvP) and zone quests. It's fun to play with my hunny again :)

Friday (12th) - Delightful Finch runs down the hall yelling "Daddy, Daddy!" and jumps on him. Everyone is happy that it is the weekend :)

Seraph has a hard night when her oxygen cord is accidentally smashed by a chair for a whole hour. It takes her about 4 hours to recover.

While Mom is helping Seraph and Dad is helping Angel, Finch and Bear decide to pour $60 worth of baby food all over the floor/counter/sink. Weeeeeee - what fun!!! Daddy is NOT amused. Daddy cleans up the whole mess before Mommy even sees it -- what a sweetie :) xoxox

Saturday (13th) - Haqon puts on his Mr. Fix-it hat and fixes the windows. Mom and Dad and Rabbit play LOTS of Warhammer Online....until they bring down the servers. Open beta is over!! /sniff sniff. No more Warhammer until tuesday.

Sunday (14th) - The house is clean. That can only mean 2 things: running and dancing!! The kids dance and dance and dance to mostly these 3 songs: Can't Stop - Red Hot Chili Peppers, Pocket Full of Sunshine, and Bleeding in Love.

Monday (15th) - Seraph has a 4 hour appointment at the Cardio Hospital. Good news - she passes all her tests. Doc talks about scheduling her next open heart surgery for November/December. Seraph is fussy towards the end, but calms down whenever Mom touches her. :) Seraph weighs 8lbs 12 oz.

Pictures!!

Today we had our whole family together for the first time :)


Beautiful Rabbit loved holding her baby sisters.











Seraph (left) and Angel (right) back together again. I think they sleep better together.










The whole family :)

Seraph is in a room by herself now. It's about the same size as my hospital room last month. There's a pull-out couch for a parent to sleep in.

Seraph is scheduled for an ecg tomorrow. Then they'll decide her plan for care - including when she might be able to come home :)





Nearly forgot - here's a picture of Seraph/Angel toes for their Aunt Saphire;)

Everybody Else gets a Nap

Baby Angel fell asleep once her tummy was full.









Strong Bear fell asleep while I was moving lunch from the stove to the counter.








So, I went to get Delightful Finch up from her nap, but she was still dead asleep.








So I came back downstairs. Bear had moved, but was still out.
I figured I should move him to the couch so he wouldn't fall. Technically I'm not supposed to lift him yet, so I went to find Beautiful Rabbit.....






...and I found her snuggled up on Finch's Teddy Bear.









It was just a few steps, so I moved Bear to the couch. He didn't wake up.








I was sooooo sleepy, but hungry too. So, I opted for lunch. Then everyone woke up before I had my nap. Everyone woke up happy except Strong Bear. He really hates waking up from naps. He was grumpy all evening.